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Anonymous asked:

Hello Sir. I am a female sub with a male partner. He seems to be having trouble with the concept and boundaries of consent and the difference between BDSM and nonconsensual control. Do you have any recommendations for how he can educate himself? -n

Your situation is probably one of the most common in the world of BDSM.  The most important thing that all individuals need to establish is absolutely the boundaries and expectations….each persons role and responsibilities.

This should always be the very FIRST thing that is discussed.  Honestly, if a potential doesn’t fit your needs, then you should always move on to one that does.  It can be dangerous (if not miserable) to be misunderstood when it comes to power exchange.

The only way for this situation to be corrected is to put your D/s relationship on hold and re-evaluate and discuss the details of the contract.  It seems that either you both are not on the same page or you are in a situation where your Dom doesn’t care and is abusing authority He’s not been granted.  Either way, something needs to change and in a hurry.

Hope this helps.


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